An old Cherokee sage was teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the young boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, arrogance, self-pity, resentment, inferiority, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other wolf is good. He is joy, hope, serenity, humility, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside of you and inside of every other person, too." The grandson then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old man replied. "The one you feed."
In life we all have plenty of opportunities to feed either wolf. We also have the opportunity to feed others. It is our choice. It is almost impossible to get through this life without experiencing some form of injustice. For some people is seems their share of injustice is much larger than for most of us. For these unfortunate people it seems the evil wolf receives more food. However, if you look closely enough, you'll see in these people a hungry wolf that is good and if properly fed will eventually win the struggle.
In the booklet, Understanding Diaconal Spirituality it states that: "the deacon is a pre-eminent symbol of service. The deacon is called to an exemplary life of responsibility for the needs of others, especially those who are poor, misfortunate, alone and hurting." This summer I have had the distinct pleasure of serving two men who are poor, misfortunate, alone and hurting. I've witnessed their evil wolf tearing away at their very substance. At times it felt like this wolf possessed multiple heads of anger, sorrow, self-pity and inferiority. It was difficult to get these men, my new friends, to stop feeding this evil wolf. As I got to know them better and learned of their life stories I began to understand why this wolf was receiving the larger portions. The question was - how do you stop this trend?
Understanding Diaconal Spirituality goes on to say: "the deacon must draw upon this life of service as the food for spiritual reflection and growth if diakonia is to be truly understood and integrated into his sacramental experience". I began to think about how Jesus through the Eucharist and His Church perpetuates His Incarnation. That He feeds our good wolf with the Eucharist and the Church. Now, neither of these men are Catholics. One gentleman is a Christian, while the other one is a Muslim. Even though they can not receive Communion, they are still very much a part of Jesus' Incarnated Body. Embodying this truth helped me see Jesus in them even when the evil wolf was feeding.
Both of these men have been homeless, both alcoholics and one is also an addict. The trials and tribulations, which each man has experienced in their thirty-some years on this earth, would raise the hairs on the back of anyone's neck. I know that I would not have fared very well had I experienced the same abuses they have endured. With that thought in mind, I began to realize just how blessed I have been during my life. My prayers of thanksgiving took on a different light. These men, despite their experiences, have not lost their faith and give thanks to God for the small favors they have received. This has been a humbling experience for me because I have taken my faith for granted many times and have not given God His due for all He has given to me. I know I have never been more thankful for the gift of life knowing that this gift means eternal life with God as long as I feed the good wolf
"I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among men the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a man is by appreciation and encouragement" - Charles Schwab.
I consider my greatest asset is my faith, but I truly appreciate Mr. Schwab's sentiments. Christ has admonished all of us to love one another and while this at times means we must be firm, truthful and honest with each other, it also means we are to look for the best in each other. Each and every person has talents and ability. It is our responsibility to help each other find these assets and encourage each other to use them for the greater glory of God. Understanding Diaconal Spirituality describes "the deacon as the one who symbolizes what it means to be fully human through service and as one whose spirit and spirituality is firmly rooted in the human dynamic of responsibility for others." Being of service to these two children of God has helped me a part of this human dynamic. This experience has truly been a blessing.
I feel something that has been truly meaningful for the two men and for me is we have been able to share our faith and love for God. The three of us know that without His help, His love, and His mercy we would be without hope. We also appreciate the help He sends us. I have seen helpers this summer who are truly gifts from God. They have been a true inspiration. I've witnessed the love they have for the poor; the unselfish dedication to them; and, the willing sacrifices of their time, treasure and talents they bestow upon them. This role of spiritual service has been a model for me.
In the words of George Bernard Shaw;
"I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. Life is no brief candle for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations".
I think these are inspirational words for all in that we should burn as brightly as possible in service to others so as to best reflect the Kingdom of God.
I learned something else from these two men when I've heard their stories of homelessness and hunger. St. Augustine said, "We are all beggars before God".
While these men have had to beg for the simple needs of life, I have had to beg for my spirituality to return. So as it turns out, all three of us are beggars. And, I believe the role of a deacon is to help people to beg before our Lord with sincere humility and accept the "crumbs" He throws us as true blessings. As people "pan-handle" their way through this world the deacon can by example, kindness and sacrifice demonstrate that Jesus loves all beggars very much! You see, Christ is a beggar too - a beggar of souls. God doesn't require us to do great things, but just to reach out to the ones who stand hungry for Him, including our own selves.